My grant writing class meets once a month on a Sunday (I think it’s the third Sunday) from 8-5. We have a twenty minute break around 10 am, an hour for lunch from 12-1, and then a 10 minute bathroom break in the afternoon, so we can get out about an hour early. It being our first class, we got out a three yesterday. However, we could have been done at least an hour and a half earlier because that’s the minimum estimate on how long our professor spent on tangential “discussions.” Which had nothing to do with grant writing. First she spent an inordinate amount of time talking about how much she loves her four-year-old and all the cute things her four-year-old does . . . yes, we know every parent thinks their kid is the most fascinating child ever begotten, but really?
Tangent # 1: We’re talking about how you must include local data in your grant proposal, and she’s showing us examples of where to get this data; she opens up the California State report card on-line, starts exclaiming over how terrible all our “grades” are. She stops at the obesity grade. She starts talking about how hard it is for children to get exercise in the winter. In California. She talks about how difficult it is for children to play outside in the snow and rain. In California. I politely remind her that it doesn’t really snow in California, at least not in Sacramento, where we are, or in Berkeley, where she lives. I also politely query: “Didn’t we have a drought this summer? So…it doesn’t really rain that much in California either, right?” (My point being, listen lady, it’s not really about outside exercise so much as parent’s willingness to let kids stuff Burger King in their mouths whilst they sit on their tuffet playing video games for four hour stretches). This reminds her of an article she read in the Wall Street Journal about a poll that was conducted around the topic of Obama’s physical fitness. Because Obama exercises a lot (sometimes up to three times a day), some Americans think is not “an average American,” he’s too thin, too in shape. Thus ensues a 40 minute discussion about how ridiculous this is, that our nation has essentially made obesity an American value, something we’re proud of, yadda, yadda, yadda. I agree, but I also think: “This has nothing to do with grant writing!” It was fun, however, when one lady admitted she was a McCain supporter (a Republican social worker?!) and everyone pounced on her (yes, I couldn’t resist). McCain lady said that in her opinion, Obama as a public figure must obsessed with his image/appearance, just like, for example, Hollywood movie stars, and by the way, she’s noticed that McCain doesn’t seem too worried about his portly figure . . . to which I responded, “Oh, so perhaps that’s why he’s comparing Obama to Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan in his ads? Because if you care about your health you must be a celebrity, right?” To which she said “Uh…um…uh…”
Tangent #2: After writing about the first tangent, I can’t remember what the second tangent was about, although I think it had something to do with her very elderly uncle who has skin cancer because he was so healthy and outdoorsy, and see what cancer does, it always gets the good people!
So, that was my Sunday. Back to thesis writing, I’ve got a meeting with my adviser on Thursday and I have to have this section done!
